Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

America’s Small Businesses Hopeful of Boost From Trump’s Spending Bill - WSJ

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Witcher 4 Coming To State Of Unreal Event Tomorrow, Here's How To Watch - GameSpot

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

New Clues Emerge on How Life Survived 'Snowball Earth' - ScienceAlert

I understand how hurricane paths work

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Massive 'super-Earth' discovered in the habitable zone of its star, possibly supporting life - Earth.com

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Did You Know You Can Plug These 10 Devices Into Your Smart TV's HDMI Port? - MakeUseOf

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have complete contempt for fakery

A hidden 'super-Earth' exoplanet is dipping in and out of its habitable zone - Space

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I can read

I have a reading level above third grade

High Uric Acid: How does it lead to sudden heart attack and metabolic syndrome, and ways to manage it - Times of India

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

The Dogs of Chernobyl Are Experiencing Rapid Evolution, Study Suggests - MSN

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t buy bullshit

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

After a series of tumors, woman’s odd-looking tongue explains everything - Ars Technica

I don’t cotton to rapists

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What are the extra benefits of a smart TV?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

How do I come out as queer to my best friend in a funny and stupid way?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Exploding battery fears spark recall of 1.1 million portable chargers - San Francisco Chronicle

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I actually pay taxes

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I can count

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms